I miss being a kid

Ah, finally get the chance to write a short snippet amongst all the studying. A brief thought: I miss nap time, snack time, play days, and the sheer joy of just being a kid. Life gets increasingly more convoluted as each year passes. Responsibilities pile up, and it gets harder and harder to remember to enjoy life. The life of a medical school student is the worst. Don't get me wrong, medicine is my passion, but sometimes I find myself wishing I was twirling in a sea of wildflowers like I used to as a kid. I see so many of my peers get so caught up and engrossed in power and forget to be human. People aren't people anymore...they're cases. I find myself behaving in such a manner as well at times and feel deeply ashamed. When I was younger, I always had the desire to understand everything including people. To get to know who someone was and cherish the lessons, whatever they might be, that I would gain from some kind of interaction. I desperately hope to find that part of myself again.

The love letter of a great man...

Reminiscing of a time when poetry reigned supreme and love inspired all. Why can't things ever be uncomplicated? Only one man and one woman forging an impenetrable bond of unity. The question I have running through my mind is what happened to the passionate, loyal, dare I say even noble nature of men. Now, the world seems full of men seeking to gain as many victories and treating women as nothing more than transient objects of interest. Very seldom do we see the so-called "noble" man of history. At least, we have remnants of the great men that were left behind to reassure us (we the apparent weaker sex) of the genuine existence of such men. A heartfelt, sincere letter written to his love...a view of love to desire for. I wish I could claim credit for the words below, but alas the glory belongs to Beethoven and his muse.


"Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved."


ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Fragrant Memories

It's ironic that we are made to remember when we try so hard to forget. A cool evening walk filled with endless conversation, a warm encircling embrace, a desperate plea in the form of an entreating kiss....all triggered by the scent of distant memories. No matter how much I try to block everything out of my mind, I am haunted. By what you ask? Haunted by dashed dreams and lost opportunities.

My moving day has finally arrived. Rummaging through various boxes and bags, I found a jacket, belonging to a former love, hidden beneath an old comforter. I truly believe that the way a person smells is entirely unique. You can wear the same cologne or the same perfume, but the end result is never the same. Body chemistry allows for the difference. The jacket, even after 2 years, still smelled like him. All the love, anger, and pain came rushing back in an instantaneous explosion. It was as though I was watching the past come back in front of my eyes in a fast forward motion.

The past doesn't fade. We can try all we like to lock the box and throw away the key. Bottom line...it doesn't work. In the end, we are left alone with everything. Deep down inside, I think that everyone is searching desperately for a complement to their soul's void. Someone with whom they can share all the contents of their box.