Politics these days....

I woke up this morning, drank a cup of coffee, and watched a snippet of the morning news. Needless to say the word huge would be an understatement when describing what I saw....President Obama won the nobel peace prize. Does anyone else think that this is a bit shocking? He was sworn in as president in January and someone nominated him for the peace prize in February.

I have always respected the significance of such an award, but today I feel that I am disappointed for those who have voted in Sweden. One of the highest accolades that could be given in the world has been given to someone who I believe has not earned nor deserved to win the prize. Looking back at winners of the peace prize in the past, I fail to see how President Obama deserved the prize. Perhaps I am looking at the situation in a wrong way. I just fail to see how someone who has been in office for less than a year can compare with those past winners who have dedicated lifetimes for peace around the world.

I have asked myself the question over and over again since I watched the news this morning. Why? Why? Why? Maybe I'll come across the answer someday soon...I just don't seem to understand the politics these days.

A poem I came across

I found something beautiful in the words

(“My soul is alight...”)

by Rabindranath Tagore

III

My soul is alight with your infinitude of stars. Your world has broken upon me like a flood. The flowers of your garden blossom in my body. The joy of life that is everywhere burns like an incense in my heart. And the breath of all things plays on my life as on a pipe of reeds.

Belief

I am apparently the world's worst blogger. I don't know how long it has been since I have taken my head out of a textbook and let myself pour thoughts out onto a computer screen. Moments like this are slowly becoming a luxury. What shall I write about today? There are so many issues bombarding every part of my already saturated brain. Belief or rather the idea of knowing what I believe in has been particularly prevalent amongst my thoughts. What do I believe in? It's a fundamental question that we all struggle with each and every day. Sometimes I feel that all the responsibilities and all the pressure to succeed make me forget about who I am as an individual and what constitutes my character. Lately, I've become more and more unfocused from feeling lost and unsure of who I am. Erickson would say it's appropriate. This is the time of my life where I am supposed to be having an identity crisis and to be otherwise would be abnormal. We all know the basic sensory things about ourselves...what we like to eat, what we like to listen to, what sights are pleasant and so on and so forth. I love pasta, I love soft music, I love watching rain move across a body of water. It's a much harder exercise to think about what we feel strongly about and what has shaped us to feel such intense emotion.

Why bring up such an obvious statement? Who knows, perhaps I'm just venting. Someone recently asked me to not be so passionate about my belief in self-expression. Frankly, it was as though they had asked me to not be myself. There are things that I adamantly believe in that I won't back down or compromise for anyone. How we express ourselves and our opinions are a direct reflection of our souls. I truly believe that. What else do I have to say today.....

“I hold a beast, an angel and a madman in me, and my enquiry is as to their working, and my problem is their subjugation and victory, downthrow and upheaval, and my effort is their self-expression.”--Dylan Thomas


On a side note, everyone should check out Kris Delmhorst. I think she's great.

I miss being a kid

Ah, finally get the chance to write a short snippet amongst all the studying. A brief thought: I miss nap time, snack time, play days, and the sheer joy of just being a kid. Life gets increasingly more convoluted as each year passes. Responsibilities pile up, and it gets harder and harder to remember to enjoy life. The life of a medical school student is the worst. Don't get me wrong, medicine is my passion, but sometimes I find myself wishing I was twirling in a sea of wildflowers like I used to as a kid. I see so many of my peers get so caught up and engrossed in power and forget to be human. People aren't people anymore...they're cases. I find myself behaving in such a manner as well at times and feel deeply ashamed. When I was younger, I always had the desire to understand everything including people. To get to know who someone was and cherish the lessons, whatever they might be, that I would gain from some kind of interaction. I desperately hope to find that part of myself again.

The love letter of a great man...

Reminiscing of a time when poetry reigned supreme and love inspired all. Why can't things ever be uncomplicated? Only one man and one woman forging an impenetrable bond of unity. The question I have running through my mind is what happened to the passionate, loyal, dare I say even noble nature of men. Now, the world seems full of men seeking to gain as many victories and treating women as nothing more than transient objects of interest. Very seldom do we see the so-called "noble" man of history. At least, we have remnants of the great men that were left behind to reassure us (we the apparent weaker sex) of the genuine existence of such men. A heartfelt, sincere letter written to his love...a view of love to desire for. I wish I could claim credit for the words below, but alas the glory belongs to Beethoven and his muse.


"Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved."


ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Fragrant Memories

It's ironic that we are made to remember when we try so hard to forget. A cool evening walk filled with endless conversation, a warm encircling embrace, a desperate plea in the form of an entreating kiss....all triggered by the scent of distant memories. No matter how much I try to block everything out of my mind, I am haunted. By what you ask? Haunted by dashed dreams and lost opportunities.

My moving day has finally arrived. Rummaging through various boxes and bags, I found a jacket, belonging to a former love, hidden beneath an old comforter. I truly believe that the way a person smells is entirely unique. You can wear the same cologne or the same perfume, but the end result is never the same. Body chemistry allows for the difference. The jacket, even after 2 years, still smelled like him. All the love, anger, and pain came rushing back in an instantaneous explosion. It was as though I was watching the past come back in front of my eyes in a fast forward motion.

The past doesn't fade. We can try all we like to lock the box and throw away the key. Bottom line...it doesn't work. In the end, we are left alone with everything. Deep down inside, I think that everyone is searching desperately for a complement to their soul's void. Someone with whom they can share all the contents of their box.